Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sad? Happy? Anxious? Nervous? Excited?

I cannot pinpoint my emotions these past few days.  So which is it?  Sad, happy, anxious, nervousness, excitement, or all of the above?  I think that this time of year gets me EVERY time... since I was a little girl!  Trevyn only has 2 more days left of school and then it's summer... Which is fantastic!!!  I absolutely LOVE summer!  But, the problem is... when summer is over, he'll be in 1st grade.  Which means ALL DAY he'll be gone.  And Tanner will start preschool, which means I'll see less of him, too.  I am so completely sad.  I'll miss them so so so much.  I know that it is good for them.  I want them to learn and grow... it's just hard to let them go.  It feels like once they start - they never stop!  And before I know it... they will be all grown up & won't need me anymore. :(  I know that is what we want... for them to be independent.  But, can't it just slow down just a little bit???

My baby is going to be 6 months old in 4 days.  SIX months old!  Really?!  Today I held & rocked him long after he had fallen asleep... taking in all his sweetness (as my sister likes to say).  I had a hard time putting him down in his crib to sleep.  I just love him so much!  It is hard to put into words how much my boys mean to me.  I feel so blessed to have them & get to be with them as much as possible.  And on that thought - I trudge through... all the sad parts of being a mother... and try to enjoy each and every moment that I get with them.  Because sadly, we are only given so much time. 

My sister's blog today summed up EXACTLY how I was feeling these past few days...

"I have to say though, as much as I LOVE being this little girls mommy... I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. If your a mom, you will likely understand. I feel as though my heart is just on my sleeve now, where if anything happened to her, my happiness would shatter in a million pieces. I know things happen every single day to children, even some of my close friends have had tragedy strike. So remember to hold your children a little closer every single day. Kiss them a little more often, and enjoy their sweetness!"

Thank you Amanda for your perspective and reminder that can never be said enough.  I'll leave you with a picture of my sweet boys - if only for me to be reminded of how little they still are...

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